Precious

Have you seen "Precious"?  It is an amazing film.  But don't be lulled into thinking it is a black story or an American story. 

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about this film & the fact that it is easy to see it as a black story or an American story or a poor person's story.  It isn't.  It is the story of far too many women & children throughout the world.  

Let me tell you my story.  Many years ago I worked in a women's refuge in South Australia.  I had just completed a social work degree but had been a registered nurse for about 10 years by that time.   I thought I had seen or heard everything.  But I was wrong.  

What I witnessed over the two years I worked in that refuge was the most gut-wrenching episodes of human cruelty & evil I have ever witnessed in my life.  As I told my friend, the first Christmas/New Year period I worked there, 16 children were in resident & of that 16, 11 were victims of sexual assault by a parent or step-parent.  The youngest @ the time was 18 months old & she had been regularly sexually assaulted by her father since she was 3 months old.  Then there was the mother whose 4 daughters were sexually abused regularly by her husband (their step father) - the oldest 16, the youngest 10. Dad was in prison, funnily enough for sex crimes, but mum wrote to him regularly, describing in hideous, explicit detail, the sexual activities she wanted them all to engage in.  Neither family were black, only one on welfare. There were others @ that time & over the two years I saw many more.

A few months after I left the refuge I went to visit a friend.  At the end of the visit my friend told me that day was the first in over 2 years she had seen me smile.  Working @ the refuge had paralysed my face muscles.

So don't be fooled or lulled into a sense that these things only happen in black families, poor families, welfare families: I assure you they happen in every kind of family, including "devoutly" religious families. 

If you haven't seen Precious - go see it.  And in the end remember - it only takes one out-stretched hand to help someone find their spirit & soul.

Broken Promises

Why am I so good at breaking promises or more to the point making promises I know I will struggle to keep.  And the craziest thing is they are always the promises I make to myself:

• I promise I am going to get up early tomorrow & go for a run
• I promise I am going to join the new gym tomorrow
• I promise I am going to sell my stuff on ebay this week
• I promise I will do all my work by close of business 
• I promise I am not going to spend anymore money on clothes for 2 months
• I promise I will do my Italian homework by the end of the day.

But the best one: I promise I am not going to buy the Winter Olympics package from Foxtel.

Of course I kept this one - until the cheaper package was no longer available and then I couldn't help myself.  I caved in.  I thought - "it's a promise, you only make those so they can be broken."

I am now consoling myself for my amazing lack of discipline (if only this was an olympic sport I would win gold without doubt!) by channel surfing 4 channels watching endless ski-ing & jumping.   

I guess I am now unavailable for a social life (and possibly work) for the next 10 days but @ least I can do my Italian homework in front of the tv - if only they didn't do so many slow motion replays.

Why is it so?

It seems to me that there is a depressing new phenomena - abusing fat people.

Have you read the online reactions to stories in the media about obesity and obese people? It shocks me no end that people have no compunction to sit in judgment of people who are complete strangers to them and to and make the most derogatory, offensive and extremely cruel comments about them. I recently became a fan of the FaceBook "Big, Beautiful, Sexy" which is a public page of Casey Donovan - an incredible beautiful and talented young indigenous woman. In one of her entries she spoke about a story written in a tabloid magazine which she had been unhappy about. The abuse she, and other obese/overweight women were subjected to in reply to her post was extraordinary.

I don't understand what this is about. Why are people so cruel to others? Why is there this apparently broad community belief that people are obese by choice? As I told a group of nurses today "don't for a minute think a person wants to be obese. Being cruel and/or mean, treating them with disdain & abuse is soul-destroying. Hold out a hand of care and support not abuse and hatred."